The cute little Cinque Cento (500 in English) cars used by the driving school are so small even Chris can parallel park them.

For the past month and a half Chris and I have spent 2 or more hours a day studying for the Italian Drivers License Exam. Yes, it’s that hard. I’ve been in my share of high pressure, cannot fail situations, but nothing comes close to the mind messing, total helplessness and heart-stopping stress of those 30 true or false questions.

Me taking one of the hundreds of practice exam leading up to the real thing.

Try your luck with the quiz below. All signs and situations are from the actual exam, if not the answers I've listed. Let me know how you did!

This sign means (answer Vero o Falso):
No playing of Taps.
Herb Albert has left the building.
No hooting.

This sign means (answer Vero or Falso to each statement):
Boat launch closer than you think.
You just missed the ferry.
Parking for amphibious vehicles only.

This sign means (Answer Vero o Falso to each statement):
Only cars that are already on fire allows on this road.
Danger - it’s hot enough outside to fry Italian sausages on your car roof.
Danger – If you speed the policia will set your car on fire.

There were over 10 pages of intersection right-of-way diagrams in our books. See if you can figure out the proper order of crossing in these couple of examples.

At this intersection (Answer vero o falso to each statement): Car E crosses first because he’s the only one going in a straight line. Car A crosses first because A is the first letter of the alphabet. Car R crosses first because he’s really a truck and will mow your ass down if you don’t get out of his way.
The correct order: C, A, L, R, E.

At this intersection (answer vero o falso to each statement): Car E crosses first because it’s a cute Italian girl at the wheel. Cars E, V and H cross at the same time because they are going the same way and probably know each other. Everyone crosses at the same time and end up in a 5-car wreck.
The correct order: A, E, V, H, C.

At this intersection (Answer vero o falso to each statement): Car B guns its engine and cuts off Car P. Car N sneaks across second while no one is looking. Car D is on his cellphone and doesn’t see Car P approaching, so he also cuts off Car P. Car P, now frustrated, gestulates wildly and for the next 50K drives 10cm off Car D’s bumper.
The correct order: D, P, B, N.

If the police officer has his arms extended horizontally as shown it means (Answer vero o falso to each statement): He’s waving at the cute girl on his left. He’s waving at the cute boy on his right. He’s hot and is letting the air flow to his armpits. Honestly, I never got these right and thank god this scenario was not on my exam. If you know the rule here, please let me know so I don't run over a traffic cop!

This illustration, along with one showing a depressed guy carrying a rifle, accompanied a section on moral and mental driving requirements. I'm with the cop, pull this dude's patente (license) subito!

The good news is WE BOTH PASSED THE EXAM! And as a bonus I can now say rear window defroster and articulated motor caravan in Italian.