Cleopatra and me in the same boat? You bet your asp! Well, at least it was the same river.

Me and a barge full of Japanese tourists dined in an uber-campy dinner/entertainment cruise down the Nile. - complete with gay whirling dervishes and extremely bored sword dancers. When the last belly dancer emerged dramatically from the giant valentine, she was almost too fat to squeeze out. By that time I was laughing too hard to do anything but applaud along with the drunken Japanese.

Now THAT'S entertainment! Topped only by the fat belly dancer with the strategic lights that twinkled to highlight the part she was jiggling.

The original smooth outside coating of the pyramids was stolen for other building projects, like the marble from the Roman Coliseum. The top part remains because it was too darn hard to get at.

The nose knows. Legend says the nose of the Sphinx was blasted off by a jealous Napoleon (his nose and other parts were tiny) but in fact the nose-job was performed by misguided Turkish soldiers during target practice. Note the size of the people in comparison.

The Sphinx from the rear end. Does that make it the Sphincter?

Built around 5,000 years ago, the pyramids are the oldest man-made structures still remaining on earth. And their size is astounding even by today’s standards. I’ve seen them in pictures a zillion times but BEING there was a mind-blowing thrill. It was awe-inspiring walking in the footsteps of Charlton Heston, eh I mean Moses.

Calling all tourists: Get on your camel and ride.Less than 3 hours by car or a day trip by camel caravan across the burning sands from Giza to the rapaciously blue Red Sea.