Another turkey has been gobbled, another Thanksgiving Day has turned into night – one that promises to be filled with extreme bloating and indigestion (did I really eat that second piece of pumpkin pie?) My laptop won’t fit on my lap. So instead of writing about Thanksgiving, I’m sending you a collection of my favorite thoughts about the day. Enjoy reading them while I head for the medicine cabinet and another round of Maalox.
I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~Arnold Schwarzenegger
Got no check books, got no banks. Still I'd like to express my thanks - I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night. ~Irving Berlin
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~Johnny Carson
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
~Author Unknown
The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. ~Author Unknown
Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day! ~Thanksgiving toast, from the movie Sweet November
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~Erma Bombeck
What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?
He gave tanks.
And my favorite:
Vegetarian Thanksgiving Dinner Recipe
Chop up one medium sized vegetarian and place it in a pan.
Stuff with dressing if desired.
Roast in 375 degree oven for about six hours.
Thanks for reading!