Another turkey has been gobbled, another Thanksgiving Day has turned into night – one that promises to be filled with extreme bloating and indigestion (did I really eat that second piece of pumpkin pie?) My laptop won’t fit on my lap. So instead of writing about Thanksgiving, I’m sending you a collection of my favorite thoughts about the day. Enjoy reading them while I head for the medicine cabinet and another round of Maalox.
I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~Arnold Schwarzenegger
Got no check books, got no banks. Still I'd like to express my thanks - I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night. ~Irving Berlin
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~Johnny Carson
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. ~Author Unknown
Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day! ~Thanksgiving toast, from the movie Sweet November
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~Erma Bombeck
What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?
He gave tanks.
And my favorite:
Vegetarian Thanksgiving Dinner Recipe
Chop up one medium sized vegetarian and place it in a pan.
Stuff with dressing if desired.
Roast in 375 degree oven for about six hours.
Thanks for reading!